Monday, September 10, 2018

RECENT ADMINISTRATUM REVIEW CREATES JOY IN GOVERNORS OFFICE


The Daily Dirtside can report the WONDERFUL news that following a review by the Administratum the Imperial Tithe of Dirtside has been reviewed.

Following a speedy investigation by the Administratum beginning in 110699.M39, the Administratum has determined that the population of Farport Major is in fact 12 BILLION, significantly higher than previous estimate of 300 Million. Furthermore, it has been discovered that our beloved city of Dirtside, rather than only have a paltry 50 million inhabitants, in fact has a healthy 2.5 billion citizens living within the plates. But if you are worried it has suddenly become cramped in our fair city FEAR NOT! For Dirtside was in fact 20,000km2 rather than the previously thought 1500 km2. Clearly our intrepid builders and architects have been busy (as well as the citizens at our beloved brothels).

As a result, the Administratum has upgraded Farports Tithe Grade from the frankly paltry Solutio Particular to a far more respectable Decuma Extrema, so the enemies of the God-Emperor are soon to see the brave Regiments of Farport in a theatre of war soon. Wish them well!

The intrepid reporters of the Daily Dirtside attempted to reach our Glorious Imperial Governor Bryant Percival for comment who due to immense duties was unavailable for comment. However we can happily report from sources close to the Imperial Governor that he was "Screaming, shouting and throwing things around [for joy]" at the wondrous opportunity for the Farport to show it's loyalty to the Imperium.
Governor Percival

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